My dear baby,
Today is your 364th day in life and truth be told, there’s something so special in the air about it..! It’s like Christmas eve, the thrill and excitement of it somewhat different than the enthusiasm and joy of actual Christmas..! That underlying palm-rubbing suspense, the glad anticipation and happiness luring in the background of every household, a certain softness in people’s faces as well as a common holiday mode and a “let’s-be-jolly” kind of attitude almost contagiously spread and shared amongst everyone you meet! Today is a bit like that but only better! ‘Cause NOTHING can ever replace this! Nothing can replace your coming, nor the past 364 most amazing days of our lives!
And you have turned out to be such a sweetheart…such a cutiepie, with eyes which light up and sparkle from curiosity, joy, excitement and of course love! You have this charismatic grace which brightens up my heart, wiping away any of its tones of grey! May you always continue to feel whatever it is that you feel inside you now my darling, because its reflection on the outside is ever so beautiful! It shines, revealing this clean, innocent and colourful energy which is unique and truly special! My God, I love you so so deeply my precious little butterfly!
Given it’s your birthday I feel the urge as a mother to state my wishes to you…starting of course from you being happy in perpetuity, wishing you find happiness in small delights, that you meet enduring love, true friendship…wishing you courage, strength and perseverance, wisdom and intuition,…wishing that you enjoy productive mornings, peaceful days, quiet evenings, oceans of calmness, rivers of great fun…praying you witness something rejuvenating and rare and infinitely amazing every once in a while, that you make triumphant discoveries…that you taste the pleasure of creativity, the thirst for learning; that you lead a spirited life that never goes stale but that is filled with growth, with development and new adventures…I picture you always youthful and free and light, liberated from man-made musts and rigid shapes of do’s and don’ts…; oh this wish list of mine is endless!
For a minute I feel like it can’t even be done! I cannot list the millions of things I wish to you, can I? So I stop; and I remind myself that the universe reads intentions, actions and thoughts, which are respectively ever so pure, devoted and only the best for you my darling. Do I really need to state it all out word for word? Amongst other thoughts a particularly interesting one suddenly strikes me: I cannot make any wishes for my baby or even have hopes and expectations of my child having certain things in life or virtues in character, attitude, approach and behaviour, unless I practice such wishes and expectations myself. Surely it could be the case that she ends up being lucky or wise enough to explore and discover parts of it all on her own, or intelligent enough not to copy any ‘negative’ traits of her parents, but what safer and better way to build it in her cosmotheory and incorporate it directly in her psychosynthesis than to be a true practitioner of them myself and we all as a family?
Starting from the simple things of expecting her to be polite or wishing that she grows up to speak nicely, can I truly expect even those basics of her if she is raised not seeing them from me? Would I not then be a harsh demander or an unfair hypocrite? Similarly, I find that we cannot preach her to be happy if she doesn’t see us happy, I cannot expect her to enjoy life and treat it like a long journey of celebration, as a chance to be creative and curious to learn and to broaden her comprehension if I don’t enjoy it myself or if I walk around life heavily treating it like a burden more than a daily gift! With the same logic, I cannot seek to see her strong and brave, if I walk life fearfully, making choices out of guilt and insecurity rather than from a position of confidence, being a daring powerful follower of my gut, intuition and of my heart; I cannot hope that she acts magnanimously if she observes any acts of mine which make me look small and lack my true cordial interest…I may not pray that she calms down and stop dealing with matters using a great deal of stress if everything about me calls out “stress”, I cannot wish for her to be kind to herself and to others if she doesn’t witness this domestically in her every day, from her mother from her father from the whole family team…and that entails not being kind only towards her but towards ourselves and everyone and anyone we meet…I may not beg of her to be fair and reasonable unless I represent those attributes myself. I cannot wish for her to act generously and with sincere compassion if we, as her parents and inevitable role models, do not religiously practice such virtues ourselves!
In essence, she needs to be raised in happiness, moulded in true joy, be surrounded by light, humour and playfulness, be treated with respect whilst witnessing me in action making respectful choices both with regards myself and with regards others…! She must live to see wisdom and feel the good intentions unfolding right before her! She needs to catch small or big tangible or intangible examples of all these virtues in real life scenarios, happening exactly before her eyes, so that these virtues become her way of living, grow into her skin and become truly integrated with who she is..!
I realize now clearer than ever that just like we must be the change we want to see in the world, similarly we need to be the persons we pray and wish our children to become- it’s that simple..!
So for this year, my gift to you for your very first birthday my sweet baby is to focus more in me, in accomplishing more of the above within me and within our home, so that these wishes don’t remain wishes nicely written in cards year after year for you, but they actually become your sweet reality taking place right before your beautiful eyes, which will in that way hopefully maintain all of their pure beauty or perhaps add even more of it to them along the way!
I won’t promise you to be perfect, with no flaws or errors in judgment, action and approach, but I promise to teach you by being a living example, ways to love your imperfections, accept your flaws and forgive yourself of your “mistakes” and faults!
My someone special, just for now I’ll wrap up by wishing you glad wondering, magical joy and deep contentment, yet if I were to choose ONE wish for you, that would always always always be the mother of all wishes: Love!
I love you to the moon and back!Happy 1st birthday my angel!