Now my darling,

Allow me to hold you in my arms right now, just for a little bit longer; now, ‘cause in some days you’ll be turning one..! NOW! -just before you turn one..! 

Now that you are still a baby, so to say, not even a toddler, or are you one? Oh well…, now that you are “baby enough” to need being held and being carried around, now you are not in any position to actually escape from my arms, now seems like a good time to float in heaven by holding you tight, hugging you so very tight just a little while longer!

Now, whilst in my eyes you are yet in the transitional in-between stage of an all-knowing spirit and angel on the one hand and an almost functional human being on the other; now whilst you still spread heavenly magnetizing stardust in your presence, spring happiness at your sight and sprinkle colourful confetti of magic with just the touch of your tiny little palms!

Now whilst your little finger doesn’t even cover the surface area of my front tooth, something I realized as I naughtily stick it in my mouth while kissing you goodnight when I breastfeed; Now that your miniature size still drives me crazy in love and your swollen little balloons of cheeks are just way too irresistible and ever so kissable! 

Now that the moment’s here and I cannot bear the thought of it being gone..! Now that you are still my little baby and I your full-time wholly devoted caretaker and forever-sworn guardian angel..! Now that the thought of you growing makes me feel mildly melancholic and deeply joyous all at once!

Right now…allow me to hold you real tight, hold you like I held you all night long on the hospital bed on your first night in this world…, let me embrace you that very same way now, now that your hair is soft like velvet and your skin smooth and fluffy like the fresh snow; now that your eyes glow with innocence, their look untainted from any egoistic dirt, your everything so clean like an undiscovered lake in the far-out alps!

Now that peekaboo can still excite you, now that my presence alone makes you call out “mama” with thrills and smiles, now that counting your little toes sets you laughing and pushing a balloon up on the air ends up in breathless giggles!!! Now that I wish I could lock in a box inside me your squeaky sounds, your cheeky looks, the sweetest little voice you are shyly yet proudly disclosing to us more and more these days and your powdery-candy pure perfect special smell…Now is when I want to inhale it all and hold on to that very inhalation to eternity..! 

Now that you are here with us, now is the time to be here with you; now is when I want to stop time at, now that I love you more than ever before, Now my baby let me hold you close, so close! 

To us, our darling, you are not probably the best, not just the best, you are absolutely the best baby in the world…and this, not just Now- ALWAYS!

With boundless love,

Your Mama.