My little rainbow…I cuddle you like a teddy bear and feeling your chubby thighs I realize how fast you grow.
Only 4 months ago you were still inside my body, existing through my very breath, and despite being with us for so little your place in our hearts and house is already sooooo big.
And YES, there is so much beauty in the world out there, sure, for that there is no doubt. Yet there are sunrises to surf against and sunsets to thankfully enjoy on our each living day…but you, as a cute little baby, is rare, ephemeral and a gift of “catch it if you may”.
I see myself in the mirror holding you and try fiercely to lock this memory in my head. Me, a young mother…you a sweet little koala clutched onto my chest – a chest which vibrates the deepest form of love you will ever meet, the mummy love.
My baby my honey I see me in your eyes…My darling my angel I see love in your smile…and in that moment I take an oath for more self-love as self-love is the most sacred lesson I could ever pass on to you. I promise you to love me more, to respect me more, to fully own my life and its every aspect…for what kind of model will I be to you if I tick every other box but fail to do that? What kind of message would I be indirectly sending out to you?
I vow to you to be brave in honouring “me” and honouring “life” by enjoying it and doing, with no inhibitions or regrets, what makes me happy, what keeps me calm…what brings out the best version of myself. That’s the kinda mama I dream to be.
Hopefully I manage to achieve that level of love and freedom one day… Hopefully you may effortlessly copy that one day. The highest virtue of all is to stand strong to our truth like a well-rooted old tree. Only then are we truly respectful and graciously grateful to the life we are lucky to be living and to the next generation we are blessed to be raising.
Only then can we stand in front of a mirror, next time wrinkly and old, with a smile of sincere satisfaction and a heart that’s light and warm.
Loving you means loving me more and that’s yet another reason in a million, why I love you so.